He Got Engaged

After two years of wanting to believe he meant it when he said he loved me and knowing full well he didn't; after having to be the one to call it quits when I still loved him so much it made me crazy; after crying nearly everyday for a year; after waiting for him to come to his senses... he got engaged. I cried a little at first, I think mostly because I didn't know what else to do. The next few days I mostly just felt nothing. And then I began thinking about everything. This past year I have felt every emotion a person can possibly feel: saddness of course, anger and indignation that he dare not love me back, worthlessness for him replacing me so easily, regret that I ever gave so much of myself to someone who so clearly didn't want it. But I did something else this past year besides cry. I really looked deep into myself and remembered who I am and who I want to be. I don't want to be the kind of person who settles for less just because that may be all I'm ever offered. I want to be a good role model for my son and teach him the importance of valuing each other and showing compassion. I also want to show him that while making the right choices is sometimes the hardest thing in the world to do it is always worth it. And yes, he got engaged. But I got something great too. I remembered that I am a good person and I got a little self love back. So I will no longer regret having met him or letting myself get lost in him, because sometimes the worst paths you ever have to walk down lead you to the best things you may never have found. It also makes me feel better that his kids will probably be red-headded bean poles.