I Should Have Been a Lesbian

Well, I did it. I asked a boy out from work in an email. I felt like a complete idiot, although all of my friends assured me that it was very "brave." I agree, and think maybe this will be a new criteria for receiving the Congressional Medal of Honor. Needless to say, I did not receive a medal or any reciprocation to the email. I unabashedly humiliated and now get to spend my time at work avoiding the pink elephant in the room each time I see him instead of avoiding doing actual work, which is what I'm best at. All of my girlfriends have been very quick to point how "awesom and beautiful and wonderful" etcetera, etcetera, I am. Apparently I am very appealing to members of the same sex. It's the opposite sex whom my charms and allure are lost on, save men who are 20 years my senior or boys who are 10 years my junior. It's men my own age that have no interest in what I have to offer. And since I can't quite get myself excited about the mechanics of lesbianism, I'm thinking ahout takint those twenty-somethings up on their offers. I could start a new "wildcat" craze to precede and train for the cougar years. I have always felt like somewhat of a trend-setter.